Subtitles section Play video
-
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Google Feud.
-
The game where YOU try to guess what Google is gonna guess when YOU'RE trying to look up p*rn.
-
Unless you're not looking up p*rn.. and if you're not, what're you doing with your life?
-
Come on! What else is the internet for?
-
So I, my favorite category is 'people' and not any of the other ones. I'll do the other ones to show you what they
-
are, but my favorite is people, because they're relatable human problems, that we humans have to experience,
-
in our hu-man lives, with our hu-man limbs!
-
'Never put a'.. dick in your butt.
-
[giggling] Dammit, God damn it.. I told myself I wasn't gonna start it off this way!
-
'NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD'?!
-
'NEVER PUT A HAT ON YOUR BED'??
-
'NEVER PUT A SOCK IN A TOASTER'?
-
WHAT THE f*ck IS THAT??
-
I JUST said this was #relatable bullsh*t! You're gonna give me THIS assetry?
-
f*ck off, Google.
-
'How to look' ..handsome. f*ck.
-
'How to look' beeaautiful. f*ck.
-
'HOW TO LOOK' HOT.
-
God, I gotta know what the internet wants. I gotta speak the internet lingo! It's very stuplistic language!
-
'How to look'... less stupid.
-
'How to look' cool! Also known as less stupid. BAM!
-
OOOOOOH, f*ck OFF!
-
'How to look older, pretty, younger, skinny'.. [laughing] 'for bed bugs'..
-
'Like a model', this is bullsh*t.
-
'I wanna buy a [singing] SNOWMAAN! f*ck.
-
I wanna buy a car! I wanna buy a house! I wanna buy a dog! I wanna buy a cat! Fuuck..
-
I wanna buy a... [giggling] sibling
-
[laughing] I wanna buy... I WANNA BUY A WIFE! DAMN IT!
-
'I wanna buy a timeshare.. gun, boat.. tin-' Tiny! Tiny house! I wanna buy an itty bitty house, for Tiny Box Tim
-
to live in. Just an itty bitty one. It'll be adorable.
-
'My best friend is a' [singing] SNOWMAAN!
-
'My best friend is' an asshole.
-
Aw f*ck, come on. [laughing] That makes me look bad, oh no!
-
'My best friend is a' cool guy. [laughing] Damn it.
-
'Is a guy, girl' who- Why would you need to look this up??
-
This isn't a Google worthy phrase! Alright, fine. You know what, whatever.
-
'MY FRIENDS ARE ALL' ..dead.
-
[laughing] Oh my God.. oh my God, that was one of 'em..
-
'My friends are all' jerks.
-
'My friends are all'...
-
..cooler than I am!
-
Man, this is talking about my friends a lot. 'My friends are all'..
-
...mean! f*ck..
-
'Wasted'? 'Wasted and I hate this club'?
-
God, I gotta think more millennial. I gotta be more millennial on this..
-
'How to draw a' [singing] SNOWMAAN!
-
STICK FIGURE!
-
...HAND! f*ck!
-
'Rose'?!?!?!
-
'How to get rich off'..
-
...of stupid people!
-
'Off'.. the internet!
-
'How to get rich off' [evil voice] YOUR FAMILY.
-
Eh.. 'How to get rich off' of exploiting slave labor! I gotta spell it right!
-
NOO.. 'stocks, YouTube, penny stocks'.. f*ck!
-
'Best way to kill' time!
-
wwhAAT?
-
'Best way to kill' your family!
-
'Best way to kill' your wIFE!
-
God, damn it, I'm terrible! Oh my God! That was all logical things!
-
[laughing] What was I doing? Why was I defaulting to murder..
-
'I love the feeling of being'.....
-
[cough]
-
[laughing] Okay, alright then.
-
'I love the'- [whispering] taste of sem*n.
-
[uncontrollable giggling]
-
[giggling] 'I love the taste of' dick..
-
Damn it!
-
[laughing] Wrong both times!
-
'I love the taste of' [evil voice] blood..
-
YEAHAHAH!
-
hhaAAAAAAH, 'I love the taste ooooof'..meat. Damn it.
-
[laughing] 'I love the taste of balls'!
-
I was so close!
-
Oh my God..
-
[giggling] I was on the right track.. I didn't know how close I was.
-
That is so stupid.. It's so stupid, I'm sorry, that's so stupid.
-
'I accidentally ate' [laughing] Jeff Goldblum..
-
That's not how you spell his name, damn it..
-
'I accidentally ate' Adam Sandler..
-
'I accidentally ate' balls..
-
[feigning distress] oOH NO! I ACCIDENTALLY ATE GLUTEN?!?!
-
AW, f*ck, MAN!
-
'I think I have' an erection.
-
'I think I have' a tumor.
-
'I think I have' cancer..
-
'I think I have'...
-
[uncontrollable giggling] a pet named 'Steve'..
-
[of course everyone has a pet named steve these days]
-
I don't, I don't know why that really made me laugh..
-
I'm in a very giggly mood, okay?
-
'I wanna be a' [singing] snowman!
-
I wanna be a' marine, 'I wanna be an' [laughing] engineer.. God damn it.
-
Ohh, 'I wanna be a millionare' that's obvious, that's obvious.
-
'I think I swallowed a' penis.
-
'I think I swallowed a' my pet named 'Steve'.. [uncontrollable giggling]
-
I'm sorry, I- this is not funny! This is not funny, I know this!
-
Oh man.. I know!
-
f*ck, man, I'm sorry!
-
..a nail.
-
Damn it. 'I think I swallowed' oh, 'a chicken bone', 'piece of glass', that, that makes sense.
-
'What's it like to be' gay?
-
'What's it like to be' a girl?
-
'What's it like to be' [laughing] a pet named 'Steve'?
-
[uncontrollable laughter]
-
[cry-laughing]
-
God, that's so not funny, that's so not funny.
-
I'm going out of my God damned mind..
-
'When you die, you die for real.
-
'you die' in the game?
-
'When you die, you' go to heavaan?
-
Heaven?
-
'When you die, you' [evil voice] go to hell.
-
Damn it!
-
[laughing] 'When you die, you become a tree' You just, become a great beautiful tree..
-
Oh man.. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I am so- I am sorry for this video, I am sorry for being a God damn giggly fool..
-
I- and you can play this game through the link in the description below.
-
Thank you everybody so much for watching, if you want to see more of this let me know, I might explore the other
-
categories but so far people's my favorite.
-
So thanks again everybody for watching, and as always, I will see you
-
in the next video.
-
BUH-BYE!
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Google Feud.
Subtitles and vocabulary
Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it